Skulls.
I love skulls. What punk rock kid from the eighties didn't? Fuckin' rebel yell!!!....Skulls say it all. You want to be Billy Bad ass on your bike? Skull helmet. Damn right. It don't matter that your tooling around on some beat ass, pink, girls Huffy ten speed that's missing spokes and has no front dérailleur. You got a skull helmet and a leather jacket. Fucking street cred. Skulls are meant to say POISON and STAY AWAY....oohhh scary. That just entices people like me. Skulls are what tough guys get tattooed on them when they go to prison and become a tougher guys little bitch. Thats tough. Then when they get out of the joint, they have this fucked up prison ink, saying “ Don't mess with me,I have a skull tattoo, and I took it up the poop hole.” A guy over forty wearing a skull shirt with a goatee screams out “ I was a D & D nerd in high school, but I drink whiskey now, Back off.” You go dude. Fuck the man, your a rebel.
I like the phrase “Give me Skull.” or “I'm gonna' Skull fuck you, bitch.” so romantic. You know, in a crude Neanderthal way. I mean if my female friend and I are sitting on the couch, enjoying a nice quiet night of Netflix and hot cocoa. What better way to ask for some sweet oral fellatio then, “Oh babe, It's time for your Skullfucking.” Works every time. Ok, it worked once.
Pirates liked skulls. I don't like Pirates. I am a ninja type of guy. Ninjas are clean and kill with precision and style. Pirates are unkempt drunken, disease ridden, scum. I guess this is why skulls got a bad image. The fucking pirates. Cool flags though. Once again that forty plus dude, with the goatee, you know he has a pirate flag on his mini-van's antenna, tailgating at the Raider game. Fucking non conformist rebel. 100% fucking rebel.
Skulls in music... Of course the first song that comes to mind is The Misfits classic “I want your Skull.” I'm sure that there are many other songs written about skulls but this is the only one that really matters. Motorhead, they really matter. Skull logo. Guns and fuckin' Roses. (you always have to say Guns and FUCKIN' roses. That makes you a rebel.) Skull logo. Dave Matthews band. No skull songs, no skull logo, thusly the Dave Matthews band will always suck the ass wind from a bloated dead cow.
Cow skulls. The epitome of cowboy bad assness. Yep. I'm a cowboy. Got a cowskull sticker on my 4x4. Rebel. I'm sure REAL cowboys don't like cowskulls. A cow is a cowboys buddy. Not like a Brokeback type of buddy, more like a child. A true cowboy is sad to see a cows skull.
Clown skulls. Back to prison tattoo's.
As I was writing this a young man bought some red vines from me. He was sporting a grinning clown skull tattoo with a smoking gun, along with some other high Quality county hotel work. Real tough guy. Red vines. Ha Ha.
What is a Skull? It is the only thing that separates us from the apes. Our skull got bigger to accommodate a bigger a brain and we became smarterer. This is of course up for debate, but thats what science tells us. Science and Honor! That was for my neighbors, the Phenomenats. Good guys. Not sure if they like skulls. They are from the future.
What is the future of the Skull? It seems kind of played out nowadays.Then again it will always be in style. Will we have cyberskulls in the future? Will the youth of tomorrow be into skull piercings?
Skull implants? I am going outta' my skull....
next week: Fat people.
2 comments:
innes
What about Warren Zevon? He had a skull album cover and several songs about bones, and he's dead and saw it coming and keep doing what he did as long as he could. That's tough.
And, yeah, ninjas are cool, but they don't know how to party--can't hold their rum probably, and as a D&D geek (nothing former about it) I say ninjas are noways as cool as my 43rd-level elven wizard-assassin with his +27 Vorpal Sword of Skull-Cleaving. So there!
P2
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