SuperEgo - Liar

want.....

Circulus from machine project on Vimeo.

FOREVER......

Oh yes..one more thing...Single by choice!

Nuff' said.

Fucking Sobriety.......

Three years ago, I was an unlovable, angry, unhealthy, drunk guy, who was sick of the world, the bullshit, the rat race and the game. That was 1,048 days ago... Now I am a 50% lovable 50% angry, Very healthy, sober guy, who is learning to tolerate the bullshit rat race world we live in. three years ago I had a job I should have quit, now I have a job I fuckin' love and want to stay at for 28 years. I have made many sacrifices and have prayed and meditated to get where I am today. I can say with the utmost certainty that I never want to go back to the way I was. I look at my sobriety like a tattoo. I thought about it for a long time. I decided it was something I want in my life till' I die. When I first "got it" it hurt like hell. It took some time to heal and really set in and know its there for life....and I love it. It was time. who knows where I would have ended up, dead, in prison, in the gutter. Fuck it.I can't lie there are times when I miss the sweet warmth of my beloved Makers Mark, but one sip and its all down the fuckin' toilet. I just wanted to post something. I have been so neglegent in my blogging. but who the fuck cares anyway. I have beenkeeping busy studying about 50 LBs. of railroading books. Signals, switches, shoves, brakes....fuck...Its been a great year and it keeps getting better. I'd like to thank my higher power Demi Moore for keeping me on the right track.... Thats all ....peace out.

Six weeks in HELL, Two more to go.

OK not really hell but close enough. Fucking Wilmington, Delaware. HUH? where? I know right? fucking Wilmington, Dela-where? I'm 3000 miles away from the city I love, the town of Oakland, and it has not been fun. I am here to become a conductor for Amtrak. Choo Choo school. So that makes it all worth while, other than that I can unequivocally say without a doubt that the Bay area of California is the greatest place to live in the world. I miss your dirty streets of potholes filled with blood and broken glass. I miss the ghetto, wait, I miss your dirty streets. I miss the taco truck. I miss stinky ass lake Merrit. I really fucking miss my dog. It will all be over soon and all will be right in the world. Life will be good. I can get home and plant some corn, meditate and ride my bike along the bay once more. arrrgh.... ok need to blog more study less. now back to some mindless TV. I dont even own a TV in Oakland. I am going to get a decades worth of garbage here. then never watch TV again... but right now a really bad movie is on.